Gap year

When a wise old soul gifted with ancient knowledge hands you a prophecy you have to respond. You’re a writer, so write.

You know how you look at pictures of yourself as a child, if you are lucky enough to have those, or even when little cameos of childhood memories pop up onto your mind feed? Oh man what was I thinking, literally what was I thinking. I always tried to focus on that little face and remember feelings and thoughts. My earliest intuitive thinking moment was not remembered from a picture but with the same consciousness that I write this now. I remember little 3 year old me back in our old ghetto apartment looking up at the huge white refrigerator just standing there, looking waaaay up at the top. It was half dark out dawn time, I was staring at the very top of the fridge and thinking “wow, someday I will be grown and able to reach the top of this thing, literally put my hands up and reach anything that was up there. When I am that tall I hope that I am going to remember that I stood down here, as a child. And I hope grown up me remembers little me standing here wishing I could reach that space.” And as a little girl, at that moment, the realization of grown me not remembering little me was so sad that I made a little 3 year old vow to myself to never forget this moment, never forget what it was like to stand so small but also to remember that this little one knew me best, she put a lot of faith in me to be able to reach the top of that fridge one day and wanted to be remembered for also being there. The meaning of this memory is fleeting to me, like after you wake from a dream and try to remember what it was about, you can almost reach it but not quite. That!